We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Can I color on your dick again?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize