I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
