His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
