put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i dont even know how to be here
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
