so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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