idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Your penis caused this!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
