if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
