ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
