Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
