have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
