You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
