Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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