she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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