TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
