I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize