she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
