cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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