was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
