I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
