so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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