I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We're too hungover to prance.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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