is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
