I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
