Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
