I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
