I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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