I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
