His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize