peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
