he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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