If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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