I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
