you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
