I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
tell me about the fingering
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