I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
