so explain again why im purple
no
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
