I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
