come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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