this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
