your thong is hanging out like whoa
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize