I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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