Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
