sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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