I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
