have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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