No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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