I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
