So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
