i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
