is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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