just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
