I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize