Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
