oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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