Ambien. No doubt about it.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize