idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize